Late Letter 11

Jeez Louise,
I was doing SO well! Never mind. Who shall I write to now? I have lots in the pipeline, but actually publishing appears to be the issue. Okay, so this is in fact whom I shall write to today:

Brittany Murphy's family,

I'm sorry.

This must be an awful awful time for you. I'm so sad about reading about the deaths of young people nowadays. It makes me uncomfortable, scared, sad, depressed, angry. If someone older dies I'm sad. If a soldier dies I'm sad. If someone very much like you dies in an everyday way I'm TERRIFIED. If the person has lead a dangerous lifestyle it's easier to dismiss their death as being the result of this. You think -well it won't affect me because the people I know don't behave like that. You don't always stop to look a little further back. Look into WHY a person may behave like this. Are there background reasons: an abusive family, an awful partner, mental health issues, bullying at work...

The first news reports about Brittany said that she dabbled in drugs. I covered up my feeling of sadness by thinking -well, let's be honest, if she gambled with her life then I can't waste time feeling sad and sorry for her. I can still feel for her family, but not about her death in the exact same way. Maybe this is wrong but it's a way of ignoring the shitty things that happen. You blame it on fame and money too young...passionate love affairs gone awry...hedonism gone mad.

Then the reports changed. She had a heart murmur. She was on prescription drugs. And I learnt the lesson of not believing everything one reads in the tabloids. And now I feel a whole heap more sad again. I'm saddened that someone who looks so beautiful, strong and successful can have it all taken away the next day. I'm terrified of being in your position: staring at my wonderful daughter, sister, wife etc., believing I'll see her grow each and every day, attending her wedding and awaiting perhaps the birth of tiny Murphys...and then having nothing.

I don't know what the reality is. And the basic truth is:
1.) Don't judge
2.) I feel sad regardless

I wish you all the best in your lives and hope you find joy in your other children, partners, siblings. I hope you remember Brittany and find a special place for her in your heart. I hope I'll stop talking in cliches and leave you with my heartfelt sympathy.